Customer Reviews:
 Re-what??? April 10, 2005
11 out of 13 found this review helpful
Re-...
I'm not quite sure what she re-did, but I know that word in the dots is not the word "birth". You would think she would bring back lots of hip-hop/latin flavored beats with excellent vocals, like her "On The 6" and "J. Lo" albums, because I really didn't want another "This Is Me...Then". Not quite.
The CD starts off with her latest flop, "Get Right". And I could understand why it was a flop. After you hear this song 10 times, you may go deaf, due to the very annoying repeated saxaphone. Nice beat, otherwise I'd call it a small offering. "Step Into My World" is just awful. It has this tiring R&B type of beat, and her voice sounds like she's trying to snore but she's singing. Bad vocals, boring beat, not a good comboination, ehh? The next track, "Hold You Down", to me is the first song that is worth listening too. I admit, the beat is quite nice, and not too tacky as I thought it would be. And, J. Lo's voice isn't a dying cat like usual in this CD. "Whatever You Wanna Do" is confusing. J. Lo says "Come on man, I need something to move to, you need to give me some of that funk.". And, it's anything but. Yeah, maybe you could move to it, but this is definitely not funk. It has a simialar, annoying beat like "Get Right". It has these people in the background going "Woah!", and then you have this beat going again, again, and again. It's going to also make you deaf after 10 listens. Then, "Cherry Pie", is probably the last song on the CD that is good. It does have a very addicting 90's-type beat. The vocals are okay, or, at least they aren't awful. Though, "Cherry Pie" is one of the best of the CD, that's not saying very much. "I Got You" is just disposable pop-R&B garbage. It has an okay beat, but J. Lo sounds like a dying cat. "Still Around" is just awful. It all about her Marc Anthony relationship, and her vocals are once again awful, and the beat is not much to help it. "Ride Or Die" is another song like "Step Into My World". It has an awful disposable R&B beat. The vocals are a bit better, but that's not saying a lot, considering they're still pretty bad. The next song, "I Love", is the worst song yet (the very worst song coming up...). The beat has annoying synths and these drums. That's all it really is. And the vocals aren't anything but terrifying. "He'll Be Back" is now the worst song YET (still not quite at the worst song yet). Dying dog (this time) vocals, and the beat is a bunch of synths and drums mixed together to form overproduced-pop garbage. Yes, we've all finally reached the worst song of "Rebirth". And believe it or not, it's saying a lot this time. I could probably do better at sing on this song, and the beat are violins, synths, and drums that all seem they are playing something else, making "Can't Believe This Is Me" have 0 substance or melody at all. The lyrics are awful, and guess who there written by. Yep, her so-called boyfriend/husband. And the "Get Right Remix" is just like the original, only it has a Fabolous verse in it to make it better, I guess.
"Rebirth" does have some good beats, but the CD fails as a whole, due to the tacky beats and the poor vocals. It doesn't show anything but the fact that the CD doesn't deliever much. Overall, I would not recommend this CD at all.
Replay Value: Closet Storage
Child Appeal: Low
Teen Appeal: High
Adult Appeal: Low
This thing must be stopped! April 20, 2005
11 out of 16 found this review helpful
This hideous creature is an abomination. She epitomises everything that is ugly, vile and disgusting about the world we live in. DON'T GIVE HER YOUR MONEY and hopefully she'll starve to death by the end of the year.
This Sucks! May 6, 2005
11 out of 12 found this review helpful
This has to be the worst album I have ever purchased. There was only one song that I liked and on all the others she sounded like a dying whale. Give it up J-Lo.
Jenny is a blockhead March 16, 2005
10 out of 16 found this review helpful
Never before have I seen someone with so little actual talent (even her good reviews contain "limited vocal talent") go so far in so many different fields. Acting, singing, clothing, designing sunglasses, divorce.
I would marvel at her if her monstrous behavior hadn't been so well chronicled.
I'm sure most of the five-star reviews here were written by 14-year-old girls trying to sound "street," but I keep hearing the voice of fat kid Cartman during his Maury appearance on SOUTH PARK when reading them ("WHA-EV-AH!"). You don't sound cool, you sound like an illiterate, tone-deaf moron.
No Talent Whatsoever! March 16, 2005
10 out of 11 found this review helpful
She's worse than the most mediocre artist out there. She can't sing worth a darn. When listening to her record, one wonders if it's really her singing or that her undistinctive vocals are real. My God, even Paula Abdul does a better job at singing! Although, I got to compliment her for using every tricks in the business. Overproduction, Mariah Carey-like stunts (guest star rappers galore, sampling everything, remixing & etc...). What's worse is she's been accused of stealing from Usher and Lord knows who else. I guess the late 90's Latin explosion wave is over. Shake Your Bonbons, anyone?
On the 2nd week of release after all the hype and the consumers had a chance to listen to Rebirth, it has tumbled around *70% from previous sales.
*statistics reported by Billboard.com, Hitdailydouble.com & Soundscan.
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